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//Thursday, May 22, 2008 9:05:00 AM
heartaches
thanks cy for her words in her blog. i agree with u. as long as he is happy. i should let him be. i may not be okay, but at least now there is something i need to clarify with him. will he be happy if i let him go. getting his freedom. if yes, I'll let u go, i'll give u freedom. anything u want to make u happy. I'll walk away from u, from ur life. but what about me? continue to be like this? many times i tell myself i have to stand up, i have to move on. no matter how sweet those memories are, how much i hate to let u go, i got to let go, let go all this. but every time, i ended crying like hell. bcos' i know deep down i don't want to let go all this. i may be too naive to think this way, thinking that one day u will be back, pick me up, clean my wound. but all this are my dreams. my 'sweet dreams' in nightmare. its 22nd today. last night, i cried again, as usual, silently on my bed, afraid that my sis de sis will hear, and my kor. i am afraid they will ask. i won't know how to answer. now, daydreaming and cy's fai dai becomes my hobby too. i often stare into empty space. thinking, but didn't know what i am thinking of. when i look at calendar everyday, i will see the (: i put on every 1st of every month. so much for a (: a story that ended so coldly and painful. i din know what to say. 1st is coming, i feared this day. i feared 1st of every month. in fact i feared every single day. i looked at my phone, it has been so quiet without you. msn too. so quiet. still remember google talk? when we call each other using that? last time we struggle with the bill. then we come up with google talk. now its like so empty and quiet. worst than my phone and msn cos' u're the only contact in the google talk. if loving u means letting u go, then i got no choice but to do it.
*** missing text *** ciaos |
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