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//Sunday, May 18, 2008 11:03:00 PM
all my fault
i must have done something wrong thats why u are leaving me. thats why god took someone precious away from me. my life is in a mess right now. i don't know which way to go, which way is light. i woke up everyday living in darkness. i rather i had never met u. i rather nothing happened between us. i realised that "i love you" from u was a fucking april fool's joke. a joke that wasn't funny but hurtful that cuts right thru my heart. now my heart is shattered.. into millions and millions of pieces. nothing u can ever do to mend this mess. i felt i was extra in ur life. i shouldn't even have exist. 18 years ago my mum shouldn't have give birth to me. my dad was right not to have me. why come to this world and suffer this fucking shit. dear cars on the road pls bang me down so that i can never wake up. end my life. so that i don't have to feel the pain anymore. stab me with a knife, take away the pain. CUT ME DEEP on my wrist to let me BLEED to death. i am not important in ur life. i asked u b4, how important am i to u? u said i was important like part of ur life already. but how can u even fucking REMOVE me from ur life when it was that IMPORTANT?! how?! how can u ever do that. u are the one who picked up those broken pieces of my life and heart YET u are the one fucking BREAK my heart into million and million of pieces! HOW COULD YOU?! u made me believe in relationship and marriage again but u shattered the belief into PIECES! i used to think, guys are bad, marriage is a nightmare, a heartbreaking process due to my mum and dad. BUT u proved me wrong by stepping into my life. BUT WHAT HAVE U DONE NOW?! u once said u would walk with me till the end. it is ur promise. but what happened? why break it.. WHY?! why ..... it has been the 18th days. i kept crying.. but nothing happen.. i likr a fool to u. asking for patch and getting rejected. how can u say u CARE when u NEVER SHOW?! why, what have i done?
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