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//Saturday, May 31, 2008 11:56:00 PM
the day is here
i know the day is here. its 1st again. i cried a month for you. i set a deadline for myself. if.. by 1st of june, nothing is gonna happen.. im gonna walk away.. i will leave u as u are now. tho i am not sure whether i can do that anot. but i want to.. today i failed to numb myself. the heartache is too strong. bcos' tmr is 1st. i can't help but to think about the places we went to, what we do during the 1st. i missed ur presence.. i missed how we talked on google everynight. i missed how we enjoyed our food at jap restaurant. i miss how we enjoyed the movie in cinema. i missed .. ur everything. its been long since i last hear ur voice.. i remember those sweet things u do to melt my heart.. i want to feel it once more.. hold my hand like u used to do.. today the heaven poured.. i felt like i am pouring inside too.. i couldn't cry bcos' i am working.. i don't wanna show my vulnerable side.. the form box dropped from the shelfs today.. and hit my hand.. i hope those form box were something heavy instead.. so that i can be numb from all this.. everywhere i go seems to be filled with ur shadow.. i missed going airport with u.. i still remember that time when we went marina.. when that wedding shop de person thought we are getting married.. and wanted to take wedding photos.. at that point of time, i thought it was funny.. but now.. i really hope its real .. there is nothing i can say except i love you.. and i still do .. really.. my lalaland shattered the day u left .. i have to build it myself now.. and i find it so difficult.. so so difficult... sighh.......
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